Get Out of My Way
by CowboySpike
Summary: An experimental piece based on the sexual orientations of the two examiners, Hagane Kotetsu and Kamizuki Izumo. Ah, whatever, it's just fun.
1. Chapter1

New storee from CS, yall. Hope you'll like this one, it features Hagane Kotetsu and Kamizuki Izumo from the Chuunin exams. I heart them. Anyway- I had a really stupid idea after listening to a Junior Senior song. This will definitely continue past one chapter (unlike.. ahem. most everything else I write..) but probably not far past two. If at all. :3 Enjoi.  
EDIT 6-6: Fixed several MORE glaring errors!

_What ya gonna do do after dark?_

Hagane Kotetsu, age 24, and Kamizuki Izumo, age 24, have always been attached at the hip. Or so it seems to the residents of Konoha. Rarely has one been spotted without the other.

Bolder citizens had begun to call them by one name to save breath. KoIzumo, was it? Or IzuKo? Whatever the case may be, these two were together. A lot. Which led to much pointless speculation.

"Are they or aren't they"

"What"

"Nnnya'know. Those two. Ya think they, ah..." Genma, a Jounin, finished that thought by rapidly raising and lowering his eyebrows.

"Oh THEM. Who knows? Why are you even asking such things? They're still children, after all." a fellow Jounin, Raido, responded.

"Children? Nahh. They can't be younger than twentysomething. Besides, I heard that if you ARE- you know it at a very young age." Genma argued, chewing his trademark toothpick.

"They're probably just close friends. Leave them alone, everyone else says things behind their back anyway."

"Backs."

"What?"

"Their backs, Raido. It's plural."

"Ah. Right."

"Saaaa... I'm so bored, Izu-chan." Kotetsu yawned. Chuunin examiners had no duties once the tests were over. Especially in a time of peace like this.

"You asked me if you could come over. So YOU think of something to do." Izumo said. "And don't call me that. It's disgusting."

"I can't call you Izu-chan? I thought you liked that."

"It's too intimate. Especially since I'm your equal and we're both ADULTS."

"Well I don't care about THAT. You can call me Tetsu-chan." He joked. "I like the intimacy."

Izumo laughed nervously. "Ah... you like... what?"

"I like what?" Kotetsu asked, oblivious. "Hey I know what we can do..."

Kotetsu led his friend out the door into the brisk, autumn twilight. They walked along the roads leading deeper downtown. The buildings grew larger and more elaborate as Izumo's trust in his companion's sanity diminished.

"Where are we going? And why won't you tell me?" He whined.

"I will tell you." Kotetsu's wild hair fell into his eyes as the breeze accelerated. "Chicks, dude."

"..."

"what"

"Chicks? What the hell are you talking about? Why would we want those?" Izumo asked.

Kotetsu scoffed. "Chicks! Females! Do you remember what those are? They go kinda like this..." he traced out a pair of curvy lines in front of his body, "Or can't you remember the last time you were with one of 'those'?"

"Hmph. How I am I supposed to remember something that never happened?" Izumo replied, all snotty, "... what NOW?"

"I didn't realize how vital the mission was... Come on, we need to go. now."

"I'm telling you this won't end well. I don't know why you're making me do this. I told you it doesn't bother me and I'm perfectly happy withOUT a- oh.. he-hello. Um. How are you, miss? Fine, thanks- just checking, actually! Hahaha.. ha."

"My friend, I'm afraid, is painfully shy and has informed me that he would love to buy you a drink." Kotetsu took over.

"I am NOT painfully shy and I don't FEEL like buying anything for a complete stranger." Izumo hissed between his teeth.

"Shut up, you'll thank me later." Kotetsu whispered back, pushing him along through the crowd.

"Stop. Stop right here." Izumo stopped towards a corner of the bar and whirled around to face his friend. "What exactly are you trying to do?"

"If you weren't so dense tonight, you'd realize that I am doing your virgin ass a FAVOR."

"Favor? I told you CLEARLY that i didn't want to come here. I hate this place and I hate these people!" Izumo wailed, arms akimbo.

"So you don't want to find a girl? What's wrong with you?"

"No, I don't want to find a girl. And there's... nothing wrong with me."

"So why are you still a virgin after 24 years? Hell, I'm a lot less attractive than you and even I've- what?" Kotetsu interrupted himself.

Izumo started quietly. "...I never said I was still a virgin."

"Yes you did, you said you've never been with a girl."

Izumo nodded slowly.

A gradual realization came over the denser of the two. He stared his friend square in face as the latter stared earnestly back.  
"Think I won't be sleeping over tonight, Izu-cha-... Izumo."

_WHO ya gonna do do after dark? _

GASP. Sexual-orientation-tension. WHO GUESSED IT. :B Recognize the JS song? Haha. It's a doozy Also a Dane Cook ref. A BLARINGLY OBVIOUS CORNY one, but hell. Who cares.  
Yes, I know that was short. I haven't done this in a while, give my poor ass a break, ja?  
Tell me what'choo think, luvs.


	2. Chapter2

Hiii. New chapter finally. I actually had a portion of this written and unfinished. Mysterious because I don't remember ever doing it. Huh. Anyway sorry for the inconsistency in this story, my writing style's changed by leaps since I began this monstrocity. Regardless, enjoi.

_Hey gay, get out of my way_

"How long?"

"Long as I can remember."

"How... bad?"

"... What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"Just answer the question, sir."

"Sir? What is wrong with you.. it's not 'bad'. It's normal."

"... Polygraph says you're lying."

"Poly-... I'll Polygraph YOU! Damnit, Kotetsu. I thought you'd be able to HANDLE this..." Izumo said, becoming ever more frustrated with his friend's unsavory reaction.

"How could you expect me to handle this when I can't even ACCEPT it?" Kotetsu fired back.

Izumo was taken aback. He suddenly became tentative. "I... thought we were friends."

"We were. Until I learned you'd rather GO OUT with me than go out with me."

The mono-eyed one dropped his head into his hands. "I NEVER thought anything like that about you..."

"I'll bet you haven't." Kotetsu said. "What about that time in the forest when you were BEGGING me to take my clothes off and jump into a pond? Pretty creepy now that I think about it." he finished, scoffing.

Izumo looked up and stared at his friend square in the eyes. Pokerfaced, he raised a clenched fist to his lip. "Kotetsu."

The wild haired one suddenly became nervous. "Wha-what?"

"I, ah." Izumo cleared his throat. "I wanted you to jump in that pond because you stank. Like moose. We were in that forest for days. Every time you raised your arms I wished I was in Hell, where sulfur is the worst smelling thing. HELL was preferable to your stink. I just didn't want to tell you. Because I thought it might hurt you." he paused and stared his companion down. "Because you were my best friend and I would've never hurt you."

Kotetsu's mouth dropped open. Were? Would've? His brain chewed the words carefully. "But..." he began slowly. "You're still..." _Izu-chan?_

Day one after the split. Izumo did nothing all morning. Skipped breakfast. Skipped going outside to get the paper. He might run into his EX-best friend a step and a half away from his doorstep. So he sat around staring at random objects and appliances, willing them to sprout insanely sporadic spikes of black hair and bandages covering the bridges of their noses.

Alas, they wouldn't obey. Besides, nothing in his apartment even had a nose. "Sigh."

Same day, opposite party. Kotetsu woke up that morning glaring at the ceiling. It was laughing at him, that bastard ceiling. Telling him what an asshole he was telling off his best friend like that for some stupid reason! So what if his heterosexual life partner really wasn't heterosexual? It's no reason to stop being life partners... err.

"Damnit. Shut up!" he yelled at no one in particular. He definitely didn't swing THAT way. Nor would he ever. Ugh.

The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. "In fact, if maybe kissing Izumo ONCE reallyfast would make him forgive me... I- ...just said 'kissing Izumo'... eeeww." Kotetsu clamped a pillow over his face. How frustrating. Considering performing homosexual acts just to get his best friend back.

"ARGH. I DID NOT JUST THINK THE WORDS 'HOMOSEXUAL ACTS"

For the other, the rest of the day was spent idling about the apartment performing random chores and thinking of some way to make Kotetsu come crawling back.

"After all.. HE'S the one who was a jackass..." Izumo thought aloud. But the pains in his heart were undeniable.

Even if it wasn't in a romantic way, he loved his best friend with all his heart. It hurt more than anything even being apart from him. Izumo idly shook the crumbs out of his toaster as he dwelled on his soon-to-be forgotten relationship with the only person he really ever connected to.

"Maybe I could've been nicer... overall." he thought out loud. Truly Kotetsu was an idiot sometimes and Izumo tended to spare no expense in telling him so. But that was no reason for his friend to hate him forever! Izumo threw down the toaster and decided all at once to go and apologize to Kotetsu for anything he may have done. He couldn't take this anymore.

Kotetsu stared at himself in the mirror, eyebrows drawn together in concentration and brow furrowed in consternation. He practiced his lines seriously, diligently.

"Izumo, I'm sorry I got mad. I shouldn't have been so closed-minded and I want to show you that you being a homo doesn't mean that I don't want to be your best friend anymore." He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, leaned forward and touched his puckered lips against the cold glass.

"Ah. Glad to see I'm the only one festering in self-loathing." Izumo said, witnessing this touching display of affection between man and glass.

Kotetsu jumped away from the mirror, wide-eyed and sputtering an explanation. Izumo laughed.

"Listen. I came here to say that I don't want it to stay like this. I want you to forgive me for being different and at least try to- why are you... looking at me like- !" Kotetsu grabbed his friend by the shoulders and pressed his closed lips to Izumo's quickly. He pulled away and readied his apology.

"BEST FRIEND IZUMO. SORRY MAD. HOMO. CLOSED-MIND... uh ANYMORE."

Izumo stared at his best friend in horror, which slowly became confusion and eventually amusement. He smiled and shook his head. "If we can forget that ever happened, can we both agree to forgive each other and move on?"

"If- if we could, yes." Kotetsu said, relieved.

"Good." Izumo breathed a sigh of relief. "Come on, I'll buy you a drink."

"Cool." his friend said, motioning to leave. "Oh, um..." he began as they started out the door, "Izu-chan, let me buy the drinks okay?"

_Hey straight, you're always too late_

END FINALLY. geez.


End file.
